Lauren article #1

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How To Transform Fear

By Lauren

How To Transform Fear

Fear paralyses. Fear stops you from living. Fear stops you from feeling its own nemesis; love. From my own personal experiences with fear I have one idea which helps me transform it every time: in every fear there is a gem of love and wisdom awaiting you.

We feel negative about fear. We say "oh I can't do that because I'm scared", we use it as an excuse, a way out, and we often blame fear as if it were something outside of ourselves, which turns up when we are least expecting it and attacks us out of nowhere.

Yet I am here to tell you that fear is there for a reason. Underneath the horrible sensations which fear gives you in your body, is Love. Fear just wants to protect you - not to stop you from doing what you want to do. It wants to keep you safe, to love you, yes - it may not feel that way, but I assure you it is true.

Here is what I do when I experience a strong emotion and identify it as fear:

1) Breathe and accept it.

Don't run away or hide your emotions in food, the internet, sex, whatever your vice is. Say "Hello" to your fear and accept it as part of your experience right now.

2) Identify what the fear is related to.

Is it obvious? Did you just see a girl you like and wanted to say Hi but couldn't? Did you want to go and do something new, something different, but couldn't quite get yourself out the door? The second part of the acknowledgement process is to see what the fear is related to and accept it.

3) Ask the question why?

Now you have acknowledged your fear, ask it as gently as you can; why it is there?  What does it want to tell you, what is its message, what is it there to show you?

4) Seek the gem of love.

Some of our fears are truly lifesavers, they are gut reactions to the world around us which can be threatening and dangerous, and we need to heed them. If this is the case, listen to your fear, be grateful for it and accept the advice it is giving you.

However many are irrational, based on past experiences and not relative to the reality we live in. If that is the case, seek the gem of love within. See that it is trying to protect you, because perhaps once upon a time, you had an experience which showed you that you shouldn't do a certain thing ever again. Or maybe someone told you some day that you couldn't do something, and your fear is their voice in your head. In the same way, listen to the fear, be grateful for it and accept the advice it is giving you as part of your experience. Yet, whilst dialoguing with your fear, see if you could make a new choice. See if this fear is really helping you, or if you would like to live life differently.

5) Feel the fear and do it anyway.

If you're in the second category and the fear is irrational and not based on reality, then you're going to have be really brave. You're going to have to take a leap and make a new decision to create a new neural pathway in your mind.  Accept your fear. Know it is there. Feel it, and accept and love it, but tell it that it's ok, everything is going to be fine. Love that it turned up to help and protect you, but let it know that you've got it under control, and the fear can let go of its hold.

Life is not inherently scary. It is only scary if we make it so in our reality. One person could be petrified of spiders, and the next could keep them as a pet. The spider in itself is not scary, it is the perception of the person which creates the reality. You have power over your perception of reality. You can change the way you view the world. And knowing this, you can release all fears which are no longer serving your purpose, whatever that may be in this world.

Fear: False Evidence Appearing Real. And underneath that is Love, the kind of love which only wants the best for you. I promise you that this is so.

by Lauren

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